Kochi's BEST Hotel? Hotel Excellency's SHOCKING Secret Revealed!
Kochi's BEST Hotel? Hotel Excellency's SHOCKING Secret Revealed! (Buckle Up, Buttercups!)
Okay, so you’re planning a trip to Kochi? Smart move. It's a vibrant, crazy, beautiful place. And you're looking for a hotel? Good. Because I just spent a week at Hotel Excellency, the self-proclaimed best in town, and honey, I have thoughts. Buckle up, because this review is going to be more rollercoaster than a rickshaw ride through Fort Kochi traffic. We're talking honest, unfiltered, and maybe a little manic after all that Kerala spice.
Accessibility: Where’s the Ramp, Buddy?
Right, let’s get the important stuff out of the way first. Hotel Excellency boasts "Facilities for disabled guests," but the reality is… mixed. The lobby is mostly accessible, with a decent elevator. Wheelchair accessible? Technically, yes. But navigating some hallways might require a little skill and a good sense of humor. I witnessed a gentleman trying to navigate a tight corner in his chair, and let's just say it involved a lot of polite apologies and a staff member frantically adjusting a heavy potted plant. Access is definitely a work in progress.
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking: Food Glorious Food (Mostly!)
Alright, let's talk sustenance. This is where Excellency mostly shines.
- Restaurants: They have multiple. Restaurants, restaurants, restaurants. "A la carte in restaurant," "Asian cuisine in restaurant," "International cuisine in restaurant," "Vegetarian restaurant" – they've got it all. Honestly? The sheer choice was overwhelming at first.
- The Breakfast Buffet (Breakfast [buffet], Asian Breakfast, Western Breakfast): This is where things get interesting. Coffee/tea in restaurant (check!) and the "Breakfast buffet" is a sprawling affair. The "Asian breakfast" options were AMAZING. I’m talking dosas, idlis, vadas… my taste buds practically threw a party. The "Western breakfast" was… well, it was there. Standard stuff. The real shocker? They had amazing pancakes. Seriously. Fluffy, perfect pancakes. I may have had them every morning. Breakfast takeaway service is also an option for early risers.
- The "Poolside bar" and "Snack bar": Pretty standard stuff, but the view from the poolside bar, especially at sunset, is just… chef’s kiss. Perfect for a cocktail and some people-watching.
- Room service [24-hour]: Glorious. Especially when you're battling jet lag and need a midnight snack.
- The Coffee Shop: A life saver, when your looking for a quick cup and quick bite.
Cleanliness and Safety: Sanitized or Stressed?
Okay, let’s address the elephant in the room: the pandemic. Hotel Excellency has gone all-in on the hygiene theatre, bless their hearts. We're talking "Anti-viral cleaning products," "Daily disinfection in common areas," "Hand sanitizer" everywhere, "Rooms sanitized between stays," "Safe dining setup," "Sanitized kitchen and tableware items," "Staff trained in safety protocol"… the works.
I mean, they took it seriously! So many hand sanitizers! It was actually very comforting. I even saw them "Sterilizing equipment". The downside? Well, sometimes, the overzealous cleaning created a slight "hospital" vibe. It was spotless, yes, but it occasionally felt a little… sterile. You can opt out of "Room sanitization," which I did, because sometimes you just need to be surrounded by your own germs.
For the Kids: Baby Sitter? Got It!
I didn't have any kids with me, BUT I saw several families there. "Family/child friendly" is definitely a check. They have a "Babysitting service"
Things to Do, Ways to Relax: Spa Day Nirvana (Potentially!)
This is where Hotel Excellency really tries to impress, and mostly succeeds… mostly.
- Spa: It's a proper spa, with "Body scrub", "Body wrap", "Massage", "Sauna", "Steamroom", the whole shebang. The massages were divine – a definite highlight.
- Pool with view: The "Swimming pool [outdoor]", specifically the "Pool with view", is stunning. Seriously, a perfect spot.
- Fitness Center: The "Gym/fitness" is what I would call "adequate." It has the basics. I got my workout in but it did seem a bit under-equipped.
Available in All Rooms: The Nitty Gritty
Okay, let's talk about the actual rooms. They are well-equipped, but the "SHOCKING Secret" is… they're pretty standard. Not bad, just not mind-blowing.
- They had an "Air conditioning" and "Free Wi-Fi" (whew!).
- You'll get your "Bathrobes," "Bathtub," "Blackout curtains," "Coffee/tea maker," "Free bottled water," "Hair dryer," "Mini bar," "Private bathroom," "Refrigerator," and all the other usual suspects.
- "Alarm clock" (thank goodness!), a "Desk," a "Seating area," and a "Smoke detector".
Services and Conveniences: The Little Things
- "Concierge": Helpful.
- "Daily housekeeping": Immaculate, but sometimes a little too eager. I found myself hiding in the bathroom a couple of times to avoid being disturbed!
- "Laundry service": Convenient.
- "Cash withdrawal": Saves some hassle.
My Verdict?
Hotel Excellency is a solid choice. It definitely lives up to its self-proclaimed title, at least in many areas. Is it perfect? Nope. Is it the absolute best? Maybe. Is it the experience of your life? Maybe not. But it's a damn good hotel, with a heart of gold and an overzealous cleaning crew!
The 'SHOCKING Secret'? It isn't particularly revolutionary. It's a hotel doing its best to be a good hotel. The shocking thing is how rare that is!
Book Now, Kerala Lovers!
Here’s what you get:
- Unforgettable Kerala-Style Hospitality.
- Rooms so comfortable, you might never leave.
- An amazing pool to soak up some sun
- Fantastic Food.
- A truly memorable experience. (I'm talking about those pancakes!)
- For a limited time you can get a free body scrub.
[Click Here to Book and Prepare for a Mind-Blowing Experience!](Insert Booking Link Here - Seriously, find one!)
P.S. Don’t forget to try the pancakes! And be nice to the staff – they work HARD. And tip generously – everyone could use the happiness.
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Alright, buckle up, buttercups, because we're diving headfirst into a trip to Kochi, India, and trust me, it's going to be less "perfectly curated Instagram post" and more "slightly chaotic but utterly delightful adventure." This is my messy, honest, funny, and absolutely human travel itinerary for Hotel Excellency, Kochi. Yeah, you're in for a ride.**
Day 1: Arrival & Initial Kochi Chaos (aka, Jet Lag is a Bitch)
- Morning (or what feels like morning): Land in Cochin Airport (COK). Okay, so, first things first: the humidity hits you like a warm, damp hug. And that hug is scented with spices and exhaust fumes. It's instant sensory overload. Find the pre-booked taxi, which, predictably, has a slightly confused driver. He's charming, though, and it's all part of the charm of India.
- (Important interruption): Remember to exchange your currency before you leave the airport! Otherwise, you're going to get ripped off at the hotel. Trust me, I learned this the hard way.
- Afternoon: Arrive at Hotel Excellency. The lobby is… well, it's a little dated, but who cares? The staff is genuinely welcoming, all smiles and "Welcome, welcome!" Check-in process is smooth. The room is clean and the AC is working. Hallelujah! I need sleep.
- Immediate reaction: I'm exhausted and a little overwhelmed. I can’t shake that slightly-giddy feeling of being somewhere new.
- Early Evening: Attempt to find food. Walk around the Fort Kochi area. The street food is calling my name, but jet lag is messing with everything. Find a cute little cafe for dinner. I stumble upon a place serving incredible masala dosa. It's spicy, it's flavorful, and it's everything I needed.
- Side note: The people on the streets are friendly. I’m really excited to be here.
Day 2: Fort Kochi Exploration and the Unforgettable Kathakali Experience
- Morning: Wake up. The AC worked! Victory! Wander around Fort Kochi. This place is a visual feast. Chinese fishing nets are ridiculously photogenic. Start walking along the beach, and soak it all in.
- Mid-morning: Explore St. Francis Church. It's serene. I can almost feel history oozing from the walls.
- Lunch: Find a local restaurant, and have Kerala fish curry. Delicious.
- Afternoon: Now, this is where things get interesting. I had booked tickets for a Kathakali performance. It's an art form with these elaborate costumes and makeup. I’m going to be honest - I wasn’t entirely sure what to expect.
- Early Evening: The Kathakali Experience. Okay, so this deserves its own rant, because it was amazing. First, the makeup process. Watching those artists transform themselves is like watching a masterclass in artistry. It's mesmerizing. Then, the performance itself. The music, the gestures, the storytelling – it's completely captivating, even if you don't understand Malayalam. I literally got goosebumps during some of the scenes. The sheer skill and dedication of the performers is mind-blowing. You just have to see it. Buy the freaking ticket. This is now my favourite part of the trip.
- (Important detail): The seats were a bit hard, and there's a lot of storytelling (which, in a foreign language, is a bit…challenging). But, the emotions are conveyed so powerfully through the movement and facial expressions. It’s a cultural immersion at its finest.
- Night: Back to the hotel. Exhausted, but profoundly moved. Debrief with the hotel bartender and have a cool beer. Reflect on the day's experience. This is what travel is all about.
Day 3: Backwaters and Trying to Act Like a Local
- Morning: Take a day trip to the backwaters. Book a houseboat, because, why not? This is the picture-perfect Instagram moment. The scenery is gorgeous - palm trees, little villages, the calm water.
- Mid-Morning: The houseboat. Find a comfortable position. The captain offers us coconut water! I feel like I’m in a movie.
- Lunch On the Houseboat: Feast. The food is local, fresh, and spicy. The houseboat feels like a floating hotel.
- Afternoon: Explore the villages along the backwaters. Meet some of the locals.
- Late Afternoon: Return to the hotel.
- Evening: Try cooking a meal in the hotel. (failed attempt… but the idea was there!). Order room service.
Day 4: Shopping, Coffee, and Farewells
- Morning: Shopping. Visit the local markets. Bargain! I got a gorgeous silk scarf for, like, next to nothing.
- Mid-Morning: Find a cute coffee shop and drink some coffee.
- Afternoon: Check out of Hotel Excellency, grab a last meal.
- Late Afternoon: Head to the airport for the flight home.
Reflections:
- Kochi isn’t perfect. It’s hot. It’s crowded. It’s sometimes frustrating trying to communicate. But it’s also vibrant. It’s beautiful. It’s full of incredible people and experiences.
- The Kathakali experience wasn't just a performance; it was an entry into a different way of seeing and feeling.
- Never underestimate the power of a good masala dosa.
- I'm leaving a piece of my heart in Kochi. I'll be back.
P.S. Don't be afraid to be a tourist. Embrace the mess. Get lost. Try the weird food. And take a million pictures. You won't regret it.
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Hotel Excellency: Kochi's BEST... or the BEST AT HIDING?! (The SHOCKING Secret!)
Okay, spill the beans! What's THIS "Shocking Secret" about Hotel Excellency everyone's gossiping about?!
Alright, alright, hold your horses! Before I get ahead of myself… I need to be honest, I was *thrilled* about booking at the Excellency. Photos online? Stunning. Reviews? Mostly gushing. And Kochi? My dream vacation! Okay, so… the "secret"? Let's just say... it *might* involve a slightly… *over-enthusiastic* commitment to air freshener... Seriously, walking into the lobby felt like being smacked in the face with a bouquet of artificial lilies. My eyes started watering! Turns out the entire hotel's a fragrance explosion! It's not a *bad* thing per se, unless you are like me with a sensitive nose; it just… well, it hits you. Hard.
But is it REALLY the "BEST" hotel in Kochi? That's a bold claim.
Look, "best" is subjective, right? For the Insta-worthy crowd? Yeah, probably. The lobby IS gorgeous. The staff? Smile with genuine warmth, and the pool? Bliss. And the view from my balcony? Unbelievable sunsets. Truly breathtaking. But let's be real - I have a tiny problem with the price. It is definitely on the upper end of the cost spectrum. And, if you are looking for a relaxed, home-y feel, you are in the wrong place. It is very polished, and very… perfect. Maybe *too* perfect for my taste. I felt almost scared to touch anything. You know?
Tell me more about the air freshener situation. Is it like, a *constant* assault?
It honestly depends on your tolerance! It was in the lobby, the hallways, the room, the bathroom. You get the picture. The elevators? Oh, sweet baby Jesus, don't get me started on the elevators! It was like getting launched into a floral dimension. I am not exaggerating. It was in my dreams! I woke up one morning and thought I could *taste* it. My travel companion loved it. But me? I had to open the balcony door for like an hour to air the space every day. At one point I just wanted to buy a gas mask. (Just kidding! …Mostly.)
What about the food? Because, you know, food is important.
Okay, the food... was… good. Fine. Above average. The breakfast buffet had everything. Literally everything. From the usual continental fare to a dizzying array of Indian delicacies (which I, admittedly, couldn't identify half the time). The dosa was delicious, the coffee strong. But the restaurant was a little… sterile? Like a really fancy cafeteria. And the prices… ouch. A single mango lassi cost me more than I paid for dinner at a tiny local place, but the flavor was amazing. And you know what? I *still* dream of those dosas.
Would you recommend it? Even with the air freshener?!
Ugh, that's the million-dollar question! If you are looking for an ultra-luxurious, professionally run experience and you love the smell of lilies or are neutral to the presence of the scent, the Excellency is definitely top-notch. The location is perfect, close to everything. I would probably go back. I did have a good time. But... I'd pack a scented-free, industrial-strength dehumidifier, just in case. And maybe a nose plug. You know, just in case. I'm a total drama queen. But hey, if you go, tell me if the elevators still smell like a flower shop.
Any other "secrets" the Excellency is hiding (besides the floral aroma)?
Hmm, let me think… They have a phenomenal concierge service. Seriously, they could find you a unicorn if you asked nicely. One time, I nearly missed my train because I'd misplaced the train tickets. Panic mode! The concierge, bless her heart, sorted it out *instantly*. She called local drivers, rerouted my train plan within minutes. It was a life-saver! And I’m pretty sure they make at least one staff member dedicated to making the rooms *pristine*. You wouldn’t find a speck of dust! And, oh yeah… their Wi-Fi… fast as lightning! So that's a win.
Okay, fine, what's the one thing you absolutely LOVED?
The staff, hands down. They were genuinely lovely. So helpful, so polite, so… patient. I'm not the easiest traveler, I get easily frustrated. And they handled everything with grace and a smile. Seriously, I wanted to give them all a hug. Okay, I actually did hug one of them when my flight was unexpectedly delayed. Don't judge me! But the staff, really. They made what could have been a slightly overwhelming experience into something… special. That one little thing, the people there, that's what makes it better and what I probably will always remember. The staff!
